we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
