just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
