so explain again why im purple
no
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We got so high we made milksteak
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
