for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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