DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
