Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
