if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
