But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
