im about as happy as oj after his trial
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
