dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
