He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
