I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I supernannyed him into submission
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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