he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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