Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
