oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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