Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
