K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
