if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
