had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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