I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
