I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
