Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
