she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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