Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
