I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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