I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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