I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I could fuck to npr.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize