Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
