He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
