I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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