Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
