The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
