2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
