I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Your cock deserves a montage
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
