I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we should paint friendship bongs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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