I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
