Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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