And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't turn off my feet"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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