I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
