Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Everclear isn't food dammit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
