If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
