Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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