and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
