1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
True strength comes from lack of pants
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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