I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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