You can't motorboat a personality
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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