Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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