He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
