Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
