I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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