Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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