I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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