This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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