Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
