My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
