Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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