Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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