I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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