all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm both gender and math confused
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