I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
