Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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