Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
