Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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