Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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