Bisexual people are plain selfish.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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