I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
