I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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